was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
