Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just high enough for therapy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
