He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
