i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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