Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
