a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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