Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
