Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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