something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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