Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
