Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
