I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
