Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
