chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
