But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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