Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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