Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
