It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
