do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
