but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
