There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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