Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
