Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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