You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize