Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She made me pour olive oil on her.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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