Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
