Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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