How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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