me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
