Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
