Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
