It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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