My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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