if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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