I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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