You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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