Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize