I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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