I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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