Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
