Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
