No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
