Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
