Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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