so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
whose parrot is this?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
