i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize