Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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