Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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