Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize