the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
