So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
