and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We had sex on a dog bed..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize