Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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