I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
