come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
