Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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