i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
