his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize