is your mom at the bar?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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