How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
