Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
