I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize