She said her name was "party"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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