are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
